PROTECT YOUR PEACE
It’s been quite some time since I’ve blogged here on Ava’s Journey.
The past year has been its own journey for all of us to say the least.
Lots of ups and downs in the world. Fortunately, I personally have been blessed with an abundance of health and guidance. See... when I started my own self-growth journey many years ago; I flat out began asking the universe for help - praying out loud, manifesting my life, journaling, self designing my perfect day, my ideal fortunes- and then...they started to come to life. I started saying NO to things and people that don’t serve my highest good and I began making my own decisions based on my internal happiness. I didn’t allow others opionions or judgments to get in the way of what I knew was right for me and my family, from the depths of my soul.
I’ve learned the universe has my back ALWAYS and will meet me there- that place, that goal, that adventure I want to explore. Sometimes the directions and pace may not have been what I asked for, but it all comes to fruition for the highest good of all. (Key phrase there-the highest good of ALL)
Just putting words on paper and making vision boards are not enough. You have to BELIEVE in yourself - really put up boundaries, walk away from ANY form of negativity that keeps bringing you, your workspace, the environment you thrive in, down - otherwise you will be starving from the inside. You have to be self disciplined and willing to lay ONE brick at a time. Surrender having control, not fitting in, feeling the need of keeping up with others’ lifestyles or being perfect - and start to ask for HELP! Start where YOU are.
My kids have GROWN so much in the past year- and not just physically; but mentally, emotionally, socially and spiritually- and I have too. This self-growth journey, each of ours - is an ever evolving process.
I’ve watched my husband travel an off road path of figuring out WHO he is and WHAT he wants- for himself, in his life and own family. Little shifts that became big shifts - has opened up room for SPACE inside of himself.
THAT ALONE IS HUGE WORK!!
He stopped trying to live up to others expectations, he stepped away from fake conversations - he stopped believing how others saw him from their opnions, wants and needs and he made a choice to embrace who HE IS in his adult, father, husband role within HIS own life. He began to believe in HIMSELF. He chose to speak in his truth, his feelings, own his worth and with that he began to walk away from negativity - anything or anyone that did not walk beside him, support him and our family, listen to his truths or lift him up. He bagan to recognize what true manipulation and narcissism looked like and he slowly put up BOUNDARIES. This was something he was not in tune with prior to his own self-discovery. (When you distance yourself a bit, you start to see ones true colors or agenda. Lean into that- that’s when your own wings take flight.)
Going into last year, 2020 we knew the year was going to provoke some much needed changes within our “tribe” and our business. Then the world was shut down- and we were forced to take a DEEPER LOOK at ourselves and our surrounding relationships.
ALL OF THEM.
What made us happy as individuals? Work? Relationships? Who was supportive, helpful and loyal? Were we ourselves helpful, supportive and loyal friends? We tried dabbing a bit to see what shifts we could make as a couple, as a family that either helped or hurt us. We moved out of our dance studio of 14 years - that was built from the ground up by my husband with his bare hands...and we moved to a new location- ALL BY OURSELVES. There were some amazing people in our tribe that showed up; our neighbor jumped in without hesitation who soon later became my husband’s broman in the end, my brother and sister-in-law helped, my manager, project managers family and admin crew packed up, carrtied boxes and held onto studio stuff, my best friend and two others...we even hired help because of how physically exhausting it was on my husband's body, menentally and not to mention (we still had 2 kids at home and our business was closed do to a global pandemic…need I say more). And though we were in some crazy times, and honotr that everyone has “stuff” happening- what was interesting was even in those “uncertain times,” we still watched as others continued showing up for others; babysitting, helping- those whom never...offered...to help us.
We found ourselves once again on this merry-go-round of having the SAME people in our community/family/tribe (so we thought) that just didn’t show up...these people NEVER showed up. I’m talking years of not showing up. And I’m not speaking of when it came to birthday parties, events or dinner. I’m talking about when the shit hit the fan- that kind of “show up.” Move out of our home into a new home (twice) “never show up.” I’m not a you do for me, I’ll do for you kind of person. I’m a “ I’ve got your back, how can I help?” show up kind of person.
So during the take down of our dance studio- ripping up flooring, packing, unpacking, lifting, long hours, exhausting...and then the moving into a storage until, then OUT of a storage unit into a new space - the “remaking” of my “new studio” a new space my husband found himself very lonely within some of his so called relationships- and so did I. I’m talking LIFETIME relationships. We make excuses for why people don’t show up at our weak moments, hardest times- THEN we learned that we needed to stop expecting or have any expectations what-so-ever is the better route to take for our own personal well being. But we also really started to notice there was never a “congratulations, no happiness, no phone calls in other areas of our life with these same people.” We began to notice jealousy, hesitation, envy and discussions behind our backs to others in that so called tribe. The things that make relationships successful shouldn’t be hard, when BOTH parties contribute- period. As simple as….picking up the phone and saying Happy Birthday.
Here's the thing. In all of this chaos that drives our lives the lesson here is- don’t stop being YOU because of someone else.
My husband's best friend from New York drove all the way down, to him - a 2.5-3 hour drive -to help him lay a floor that took HOURS and that “best friend” drove BACK to NY that same night. That’s love, that's loyalty, that’s a true friendship. His friend knew my husband’s back issues, knew he had a deadline, on top of being overwhelmed and overworked- just by hearing him speak on the phone he knew how mentally exhausted he was…and that best friend…HE SHOWED UP- and he didn’t take “no way that’s a crazy drive for you” as an answer. (That moment, that day had filled my husband up SO much that he was emotionally overflowing with joy, happiness and he felt WORTHY and APPRECIATED.)
The self reflection during the year 2020 made my husband (especially) and I realize… Life should be SIMPLE. We shouldn’t have to push and pull so hard for relationships to work. We noticed how EXHAUSTING it was constantly “trying” with certain people and he and I both were over it.
If someone or something in your life leaves you feeling down, wrong, bad, twisted, uncertain or just straight up crappy OVER AND OVER- then they must go. Your PEACE is more important than anyone’s opinion. Your self worth is more important. NO MATTER WHAT or WHO it is.
PROTECT YOUR PEACE.
And friends, this isn’t an easy thing to do- trust me when I say, been there, done that and I myself still get triggered along the way at times. I just know how to deal with those triggers now. 😉 If you read my book “BROKEN OPEN,” hop over to Chapter 2 “Breaking the Cycle.”
Life is simple.
LOVE should be simple- not full of jealousy, envy, who has whose attention. BE HAPPY for others!!!!! Other's relationships, their love, their abundance- have loyalty and appreciation for others trials and triumphs as if they were your own. That’s how we level up and invite that magic into our own lives - to attract the same kinds of feelings, humans and vibrations for ourselves. It really is that simple. When you reliaze the vibes you give out to others are the ones you’re asking for in return, you will learn to recognize those negative thoughts and make a choice to stay there in that soace or reset your mindset.
I published my book I had been working on for 2 years this past June 2021. I worked closely with one of my dearest friends who was THE PERFECT editor for me and my book, BROKEN OPEN | Intuitive Power Life Coaching. Months and months of reading sentence by sentence, line by line over and over again hundreds of times for countless hours.
Our relationship literally EXPANDED throughout this editing process. And for that I am forever GRATEFUL.
Then, tragedy struck in her life. In those moments- those super “close to home” moments, we feel, lean and GO to those who need us- who don’t know which way is up and can't catch their breath. That’s what humanity does for one another, this should be a no brainer. This not only impacted my friend and her family so tragically- it impacted me and my husband too. Beyond our sadness for my friend- it made my husband and I lean even deeper into our truths- living them, speaking them and aligning with how and who we as individuals WANT to be. Not taking any moments for granted and living as much in the present as mentally, physically and spiritually possibly.
Since 2020, I feel my husband and I’s relationship has grown even deeper than it was- if that was even possible in my opinion. And I’m speaking of a 21.5 year relationship that has been woven since we laid eyes on each other back in 1999. We moved in together after dating for 3 months and then from there it was just...GROWTH, twists, turns, more GROWTH, more trials and triumphs and always LOVE. My husband and I experienced many shifts of seeing each other deeper, opening up more space inside ourselves for one another to lean in more and more. This past year being home, being pushed against a wall at times forced us to be creative and learn new ways to thrive! At the same time, the things happening in the world and those surrounding us lead us even deeper into our own united connection with each other.
It’s beautiful, fruitful, holy- its love- to the depths of what love should be felt amongst everyone. I wish I had another word to describe it.
It's luminous. It’s world shifting.
But no matter what type of social, financial, family battle - we are always able to just look at each other and know. Know we are aligned in thought, choices and conversation. It’s that “Already Always Knowing” I talk about in my book. It’s always been there. He fills up my cup to overflow, as I do his- and the BEST part is!!! Our children see it, feel it and overflow as well. #Gratitude
I’ve been called to step into the public eye, to share my stories and my wisdom - the blueprint in my book is for humanity to see themselves back to the friendship and love they have to have for themself in order to truly THRIVE! For you to seek JOY in everyday life!
Do yourself and your loved ones a favor...write down what the past year was like for you. Were you in survival mode? Were you forced to make decisions you weren’t 100% comfortable with? Were you creative? Did you look inward? Were you pressured into doing things you didn’t feel aligned with? Write that stuff down, get it out- take a look at it. Now, how can you take those “things and that stuff” and turn it into a lesson? Say PEACE OUT to the people, social media and stuff that is taking up space where your entitled to feel joy! You’re ALLOWED to delete and protect your peace.
Next- grab my book…it's dedicated to YOU, to HUMANITY for a reason!!! This is a VITAL MESSAGE in these times where we are living. WE are in charge of our happiness, who and what we do with ourselves, our bodies, our children, our life. Our internal space is sacred, it's personal and it's ALL OURS.
It’s time to own your space and protect your peace -for no one else but YOU.
XO, Aubrey August 11, 2021
BROKEN OPEN | Intuitive Power Life Coaching by Aubrey Lynn Conley
Global Wide at any online bookstore.