Truth Hurts
I’m usually a super positive blogger, I tell it like it is, what's on my heart and find the silver-lining in EVERYTHING in life. Even in this very moment writing this we have big things happening within my own home, transitions of growth and new paths; as I continue to lean into my unwavering faith, meeting the universe halfway and showing up as ME.
(Chapter 10 “ME” in BROKEN OPEN | Intuitive Power Life Coaching) I’m hopeful this message will hit those of you in the face who have been in this position and you choose from this point on to do what your heart tells you- not what others tell you.
Show up as Y O U.
I WILL NEVER CHANGE WHO I AM BECAUSE YOU CHANGED WHO YOU WERE.
I will continue to be me, in all ways- thinking, doing, speaking, acting, existing on this earth and I am pretty hopeful my children will know and make the choice to be good humbled humans. I am who I am in every presence, position and relationship. Whether I’m chatting with my mailman, on the phone with my Gigi, my best friend or teaching a dance workshop.
I don't fake things and I can’t stand small talk.
I don’t gossip ( I used to, a long time ago- but I have learned that if it doesn’t come from the horse's mouth, I didn’t see it with my own eyes, hear it with my own ears or know it’s a fact; it's not 100% true and more importantly there are two sides to every story.)
I stopped being the one who had to talk the most in the room and started being the one listening- really listening, observing behaviors, emotions, triggers and repeated cycles.
If you’re just reading my blog for the first time I recommend you go back and read some more, hop over to my YouTube Channel EVOLVE & Repeat>>Aubrey Conley, check out my businesses aubreyconley.com, a2dance.com– do a little “research” before jumping to conclusions.
TRUTH HURTS
When adult relationships “break up” and there are children involved- (a niece, a nephew, a grandchild) I understand how it gets uncomfortable and there’s a space of uncertainty many feel and make the CHOICE to break that relationship with that particular family as a whole- and unfortunately others in the family also make their own choices to follow…like a herd of sheep or be independent of having their own opinion and relationships.
Now, if after a family “break up” and you were personally asked to not contact that niece, nephew, grandchild - I understand there are boundaries that should absolutely be respected, until the child becomes an adult and if you feel like you want to reach out to reconnect, great. But on the other side of that (the child's side) you better be honest enough to let them know YOU ended that relationship for your own good and they will not/are not allowed to contact you. Otherwise, from the child’s perspective…Where did grandma go? Where is Aunt Patricia? From a child’s perspective they grow up feeling abandoned in that relationship.
Especially if there was an actual real growing relationship there, not just holidays and birthdays- I mean a real relationship that includes love, hope, someone to lean on, honesty and meaning. Someone who spent time with them, checked in on them and had meaning in their life.
Let me be brutally honest and IF you take offense to my honesty you may need to take a good hard look into the mirror my friend before judging me or anyone else for that matter.
Just because you never called or texted my child- your grandchild, nephew or niece on their birthday doesn’t mean I’m going to put that heartache back on your child.
Just because our relationship is broken or over does not mean my love for your child just vanished. I refuse to stop being me because you chose to drop off the face of the earth in your relationship with my children. (And no we did not put up walls, if that assumption is made). And though there are no more family dates, drivebys or regularly keeping in touch- that child will remember her aunt texted her on her birthday every year. And one day, when she’s all grown up and might need her, I’m hopeful she won’t think twice to reach out.
Different points of view.
I’m perfectly imperfect- I don’t judge others for what they choose and I’m speaking my truths about ME continuing to be ME regardless. There of course is a history in every relationship right?
A beginning and so much in-between when it comes to relationships especially when family and children are involved- ouch it hurts! I should know, I’ve lived it- from multiple angles. Disappointment, heartache, abandonment, hurt and the list goes on. In the best interest of me, my heart, my mental health and my family- I made sure to look in the mirror twice and be certain the next move I made is what’s best for me and mine- long term.
DON’T BE THE PERSON WHO DOES UNTO OTHERS AS THEY HAVE DONE TO YOU.
Don’t be that person.
Be better- I’m telling you karma is a B with a CAPITAL B.
God sees you when you think you’re alone and hears how you speak of others.
Don’t be the person who - “well just because they did this thing to me-I’m going to mirror that ignorance and do the same to them.”
NO.
You are better than that. That is not the way to “be kind” to “be humble.”
That is not living in your truth.
“She didn’t call me on my birthday so I’m not going to call her on hers” - that is called being an asshole. Yep! I said it- wrote it. It’s out there.
GO the extra mile. MAKE the phone call. SEND the text.
SHOW UP as you would have always shown up.
Be who you are and certainly don’t change who you are for the sake of someone else.
When adult relationships between siblings, parents, family don't work out- (because guess what many don’t)-and by the way-you’re not supposed to “deal with it” because they are “family.”
Is that a rule or something someone along the way made up out of fear their poor behavior would shy their child away?
Toxic, controlling, narcissistic relationships are carried through lineage- that negative behavior needs to be BROKEN!
Read the book: (BROKEN OPEN | Intuitive Power Life Coaching- by yours truly.)
Someday I’ll publish a novel about my personal life, the past few decades on this earth will be spread amongst humanity to read and listen: “Part II of BROKEN OPEN- The Truth Behind the Opening!” (or something dramatic like that :) )
My written truths will come out in detail and the whistle will be blown in hopes, like my first book, my journey helps you look in the mirror and do what’s good for you and your family. So that future generations will truly lean into themselves and actually understand what it's like to be happy!
I’m so grateful that this ship I’ve sailed has weathered storms, hurricanes, and sunshine. Cloudy days, even tornadoes (yep, even the ones) because I know I’m my own anchor.
I know who I am- and I will never alter, curve or dodge who I am because you made the choice to be you and true character is unveiled when push comes to shove. Make sure you’re not putting on a mask in the morning my friends, and always be consciously aware of your thinking, speaking and modeling ALL your truths through and through.
#alwaysfollowyourheart
#lovethelove
XO Aubrey
